http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl? http://www.eblah.com en http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1175780079/ http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1175780079/#num1
Have you ever wondered just how your computer works?
Well, it's finally explained here in one, easy to understand, illustration:

]]> Thu, 5 Apr 2007 07:34:39 Moondog http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1175297772/ http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1175297772/#num1            *You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello and too old to REALLY understand computers in order to fully appreciate the following.

           IF Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their
           famous sketch, "Who?s on First?" might have turned out something like this:

           /*COSTELLO CALLS ABBOTT TO BUY A COMPUTER*/

           ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

           COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

           ABBOTT: Mac?

           COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

           ABBOTT: Your computer?

           COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

           ABBOTT: Mac?

           COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

           ABBOTT: What about Windows?

           COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

           AB! BOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

           COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

           ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

           COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

           ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

           COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

           ABBOTT: Office.

           COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

           ABBOTT: I just did.

           COSTELLO: You just did what?

           ABBOTT: Recommend something.

           COSTELLO: You recommended something?

           ABBOTT: Yes.

           COSTELLO: For my office?

           ABBOTT: Yes.

           COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

           ABBOTT: Office.

           COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

           ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

           COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

           ABBOTT: Word.
           COSTE LLO: What word?

           ABBOTT: Word in Office

           COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

           ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

           COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

           ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

           COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

           ABBOTT: Money.

           COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

           ABBOTT: Money.

           COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

           ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

           COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

           ABBOTT: Money.

           COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

           ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

           COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

           ABBOTT: One copy.

           COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

           ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

           COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

           ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


           *A FEW DAYS LATER:             *

           ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

           COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

           ABBOTT: Click on "START." . . . ]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2007 17:36:12 Moondog http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1175088341/ http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1175088341/#num1
Trial. A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!" ]]> Wed, 28 Mar 2007 07:25:41 Moondog http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1174258496/ http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1174258496/#num1
What ya rthink ???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozDkNsfzYmI]]> Sun, 18 Mar 2007 16:54:56 Andy http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1173984690/ http://www.rsvpfirst.com/cgi-bin/forum/Blah.pl?m-1173984690/#num1
  Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court and the judge says, "If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won't be sent to jail."
So the two men agree and the judge tells them to come back on Monday.

So the two guys come back on Monday and the judge asks how they did.

''I got 17 people to get off drugs,'' says the first guy.

''Wow, how'd you do that?'' asks the judge.

''I used circles. I told them that this large circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs.''

''Oh, that's nothing!" said the second guy. "I convinced 156 people to get off drugs.''

''Wow. How'd you do that?'' asked the judge.

''Well, I used circles too. I told them this small circle is your butthole before prison...

]]> Thu, 15 Mar 2007 12:51:30 woodie